Surai's Memoirs- Rumors
(Scene is a talk show room with a crowd) (A host walks to the stage and the audience goes wild) Bobby: HI GUYS. I’M BOBBY M. AND THIS IS RUMOR ROUNDUP. (Audience cheers) Bobby: Usually Rumor Roundup is done by myself but this special guest wanted to make this segment about herself like she usually does. Please give a warm welcome to... SURAI! (The crowd cheers loudly and chants her name) Surai: (Walks out in a purple two piece dress with white heels and sits down) Hi everybody! (Blows everyone kisses) Bobby: Okay. How are you doing? Surai: I’m great. Life is awesome. :D Bobby: Alright. Let’s get down to business. Your Valentine’s Day performance. It was good until... you had a little... “Breakdown”... Rumor has it that you were drunk live on TV. Surai: False. Bobby: Another rumor suggests that you just broke up with your husband... Surai: False... Where are these rumors coming from, this just happened two days ago- Bobby: So what did happen ma’am? Surai: Well, I was... seeing the love in the audience and knowing me, I should feel like same way but unfortunately, no one loves me like that... Bobby: Sorry to hear that buuut, you can’t have everything you little selfish princess b-word... Surai: Excuse me..? Bobby: ANYWHO. How are your kids? Surai: They are excellent, thanks for asking. Bobby: Rumor has it that YOU cheated on your husband and birth kids that aren’t his. True I believe? Surai: No, that is false. Me and him had s** and I know for sure that those are his kids. There’s even a... a little tape of us on the internet. (The audience gasps) Bobby: REALLY?! Surai: Look it up... (Sips tea) (The audience goes berserk) Bobby: Anyway. Another rumor says you lip synced your recent performances. I hope this is true because I think it is... Surai: False. I don’t lip sync. Bobby: Sing for us now than. :D (The crowd cheers) Surai: I’m sorry but my throat is a little sore... Bobby: BULL CRAP. But whatever. That’s way you’re my fav. :D Surai: Aww, thanks. Bobby: Okay. Here’s another rumor. Your melons are fake. Surai: False. I didn’t have any plastic surgery done on me. Bobby: ANOTHER RUMOR. Surai: Oh god... Bobby: You and your husband aren’t together anymore? Surai: We are together. Bobby: But there hasn’t been any pictures of you and him together lately... Surai: Because I avoid paparazzi in every way I can. Bobby: But that doesn’t explain of you guys going out together... Surai: To me it does, NEXT RUMOR. Bobby: Okay, there’s another rumor when your husband died, you went out with another person, but your husband was alive the whole time. IS THAT TRUE? Surai: (long pause) partially... (The audience gasps) Bobby: GIVE ME THE TEA SIS. Surai: ALL I’M GOING TO SAY IS... Bulls*** happened, I kinda got attracted to someone else, I thought he was dead, but he really wasn’t but it wasn’t me fault. His friends knew he wasn’t dead but didn’t tell me. I cried 24/7 over his death by the way... Bobby: WOOOOW. IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE. (The audience pretends to faint) Bobby: Okay. THIS IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR RUMOR ROUNDUP. THANK YOU SURAI. (The audience cheers) Bobby: NOW A SURPRISE PREFORMANCE BY SURAI. Surai: What? HOLD ON LET ME GET READY Bobby: JUST JOKING, GET OFF MY SET YOU UNTALENTED- (Surai punches Bobby in the face and pulls his hair) Bobby: NOOOOO MY HAIR! (Surai pulls Bobby’s hair off; revealing he is bald) Surai: HA (Bobby quickly runs backstage as the audience laughs) Surai: HAHAHAHHAA (As Surai laughs she is handcuffed by police) Surai: Wait, why am I being arrested? Police: For DTP, and battery. Surai: DISTURBING THE PEACE, WHAT PEACE IS THERE THIS IS A TALK SHOW (Surai is thrown in the back of a police car and it drives off) (To Be Continued)